Accidents Happen
by Catsitta
Summary: Cloud was accident prone. Enough said. ASGZC oneshot.


**A/N: **Um. ASGZC fluff. Never written it before, but I hope it's okay. Feedback is awesome, by the way! I adore reviews…

**Warning(s): **Language

**Word Count**: 2,160

**Disclaimer: **Nope, don't own any of it…Just abusing the characters for giggles.

**Accidents Happen**

**By Catsitta**

Cloud was accident-prone.

Enough said.

Constantly, he was tripping over his own two feet (or nothing at all), walking into people (or well-meaning, inanimate objects), dropping things as if they were actually slippery and falling flat on his face for no particular reason. Cloud only wished this clumsiness was due to a growth spurt, but since his father stood only stood five foot five (A height he passed by a grand total of three inches!), he doubted that such was true.

Now, being in the military and displaying such inherent awkwardness physically, unfortunately, led to a similar problem in his social life. When it came to people, Cloud discovered that he was utterly hopeless and often made a fool of himself.

After two years of training, and spending a significant portion of that time nursing minor injuries from some haphazard, tumble down the stairs, Cloud finally got his chance at pursuing his lifelong dream of becoming a SOLDIER. Of course, his instructors at the academy did everything they could to discourage him; since, he could hardly walk three steps without hurting himself. Alas, he was smart but outside of the classroom, he was a walking disaster waiting to happen.

Not letting his teachers dash away his dreams, Cloud signed all the needed paper work and sold his soul to ShinRa (metaphorically speaking, of course).

In a manner of speaking, the first few months in the program went by rather well. He did not skewer himself with one of the swords during training, or break his own arm in hand-to-hand (a kid named Isaiah did that for him. Thank Gaia for Cure materia!). Cloud was still considered pitifully awkward, but his stubborn determination gained him a small margin of respect. As did his slow-burning temper. It was amazing how gracefully he could move when he was so pissed off that he could think of nothing but beating the shit out of his unfortunate opponent.

Things began to look up…well, that is until this week.

He should have known that his good luck could not have lasted. After a month without some kind of incident, Cloud knew that it would all come back to haunt him eventually.

Monday was the start of all his troubles.

During sword practice, he lost his grip mid swing, and his eyes widened as the weapon sailed across the room...almost impaling a certain raven-haired, First Class SOLDIER named Zack Fair. The teen was nice enough about the whole incident, ruffling Cloud's blond spikes with his hand and telling him that it was okay…but that was only after he had stopped laughing as if Cloud's humiliation was the funniest damn thing in the world.

Tuesday, things inevitable got worse.

After waking up late for training, Cloud found himself running towards the elevator full pelt while attempting to tie the shoelaces on his left boot. Of course, running in the halls never leads to good things. Neither does running through the halls into an elevator. Fortunately, the doors slid open, allowing him to rush inside without waiting. Unfortunately, someone else was in there. That someone else he crashed into, sending them both sprawling backwards, himself on top. After recovering from the shock of impact, Cloud looked down apologetically and realized that he was sitting Genesis Rhapsodos, SOLDIER First Class, and the General's second-in-command.

The red clad SOLDIER said nothing to him as they untangled from each other and fixed their own clothing. Genesis fiddled with his hair for a moment and checked to see that Rapier was still sheathed at his hip, before plucking the book he dropped from the floor. It was LOVELESS, and about the time he began to read the lines of the famous play/poem aloud, Cloud's stop came and he scurried to class, hoping like hell that Genesis forgot his face.

Wednesday was entirely Reno's fault.

His day was going smoothly until the crimson-haired Turk grabbed Cloud's ass he walked by, resulting in the blond leaping away in surprise. Somehow, he ended up with all four limbs wrapped around the leader of the Turks, Tseng. Blushing with embarrassment, he let go of the Wutainese Turk and fell to the ground with a THUMP. Reno laughed and helped Cloud to his feet. Tseng merely quirked a brow and walked away.

Thursday could be blamed on ShinRa's cheap equipment.

Had it not been for the fact that Cloud's gun jammed, resulting in him attempting to fix it (which, being as he was currently failing his mechanics class…), the thing would never have backfired. And Cloud, in turn, never would have been caught in the following explosion.

It was a quick flash and loud bang later that landed the blond in the arms of Angeal Hewley, also a First Class SOLDIER and the General's third-in-command.

Reeling backwards from the surprise and the sudden pain, Cloud stumbled into the passing SOLDIER, whom kindly helped him back to his feet and offered to examine his injuries. He nodded his thanks to the burly, dark-haired SOLDIER (whom looked a great deal like Zack, speaking of whom…).

With a squeal of excitement, a certain look-alike of Angeal came rushing over, babbling nonsense until the older SOLDIER silenced him with a firm look. What a way to make an impression on a potential friend (he knew from an earlier mission that both he and Zack were country boys) and his mother hen of a mentor.

Friday ended up being the worst day of the week yet.

Of all the people to spill coffee on…Why did he say yes to that secretary? Why did he agree to help her since he was off duty for the rest of the day? If he had not, then he would never have walked into the General's office with a steaming cup of coffee in hand. And if he had never walked into the office with said cup of coffee, then there would never have been a chance for his cursed feet to get tangled up. And if his feet had never been tangled up, the coffee would have never went flying over Sephiroth's desk and landing on the silver General's lap.

Mortified by the accident, Cloud froze; his blue eyes like saucers, his mouth slightly agape.

Oddly enough, Sephiroth did not leap to his feet cursing. Instead, he sighed and stood up, wiping his leather coat with a discarded napkin. When he finished, the silver-haired General looked up at Cloud and tilted his head slightly. "What are you standing there for? Go fetch another cup. Except this time, attempt to not spill it on my person. Leather is not the easiest material to clean."

Cloud spun around and practically fled the man's office. He wondered if his week could get any worse.

Saturday, he was off-duty, and rather than go below the Plate with the other wannabe SOLDIERs, Cloud stayed in the barracks, trying to wish away his humiliation.

When Sunday came, the last thing he expected was for someone to knock on the door. No one else was there except Cloud, so more than likely it was someone looking for their buddy. When the knocking persisted, Cloud let out a groan of frustration and finally left his bed, swinging the door open a tad recklessly.

There, to his horror, stood Zack Fair, grinning like the idiot he was at heart.

"Hi! I was looking all over for you, yah know? What'cha doing here all by your lonesome when you could be hanging out with awesome people, like me?" The raven-haired First slung an arm about Cloud's shoulders,"Let's be friends, Spike. It'll be great!"

Startled by the older teen's overly eager display of affection, Cloud slipped away and took a step back.

Zack puffed his lip and looked mildly offended,"You don't wanna be my friend?"

"What! No, I mean…yes! I want to be friends…it's just…you sorta surprised me is all."

Appeased, the SOLDIER grabbed Cloud's arm and pulled him out of the room.

"Cool! C'mon, let's go."

Feeling a tad hapless, Cloud allowed himself to be drug around behind his superior officer as the teen went about from place-to-place, chatting animatedly. What was going on?

Most of the day passed by in an uneventful blur. Then Zack's shoved him in an elevator and pressed a button that led to one of the SOLDIER only floors. Cloud squeaked. But, his protests were ignored as the raven-haired First led him to one of the rooms and unlocked the door.

As they entered, Zack let out a deafening shout,"HEY SEPHY, I BROUGHT YOU A PRESENT!"

Sephy? Oh Gaia, he could not possibly mean!

From one of the back room, more than likely a bedroom, came Sephiroth. Close behind were the other two members the famous SOLDIER trio, Angeal and Genesis. As the men gathered in the living room, Cloud did all he could to get away. What was Zack doing? More than likely both Genesis and Sephiroth wanted to skin him alive, and Angeal probably thought he was pathetic…

"Calm down Spike," Zack said, wrapped both his arms about Cloud's waist and resting his chin amongst the blond spikes. "Hey guys, I told you I would find him."

Genesis smirked and tossed his head,"And he looks absolutely petrified, Fair. What exactly did you do to him?"

"Nothing. Just walked and talked for a bit before bringing him here."

Sephiroth sighed and shook his head,"Zackary, when I mentioned a cute blond dumping coffee in my lap, why in Gaia's name did you assume that this one was whom I was speaking of?"

Zack chuckled,"'Cause, he's the only klutzy blond in the Cadet program. Who else could you have possibly been talking about?"

"Zack, did you at least tell you friend what you were planning on doing? He looks ready to bolt at any given moment," Angeal said after a slight pause before coming forwards and offering his hand to the terrified blond. Cloud hesitantly took it, finding a small degree of comfort as the large hand enclosed over his own.

"Pfft, no." The teen retorted,"That would have ruined the surprise. And, he probably would not have believed me if I had just said it outright. Spike can be awful hard to convince that something's the truth."

Silence drew between them, broken only when Cloud pulled away from Zack and Angeal and ended up tripping over a rug and vaulting headfirst over a leather couch. Landing painfully on the other side, he let out a groan.

Strong hands help him to his feet, and those hands belonged to the General himself.

"S-sir…I'm sorry…" Cloud sputtered.

"For what exactly?" Sephiroth asked…smirking? Next thing he knew the General placed a chase kiss on Cloud's lips before releasing him.

"Huh? What was that for?"

"To make you feel better." Sephiroth replied, "Zackary often goes on rants about how kisses are supposed to make people feel better when they are hurt."

Cloud flushed red.

"Awe, isn't that adorable!" Zack crooned,"Hey 'Geal…can we keep him? Please."

The blond blinked with confusion.

"It all depends pup," Angeal said after a while,"if he wishes to be with us."

Zack bounded around the couch to wrap Cloud up in a bone-crushing embrace.

"Please say yes, Spike. Say you'll be with us…"

"Could someone please tell me what is going on!" Cloud pleaded.

Genesis snickered somewhere in the background. Angeal let out an uncomfortable sigh. Zack seemed to busy cuddling him to reply. So that left Sephiroth to speak.

"Cloud Strife," the silver General began in a smooth, dark voice,"we all would like for you to join us. To become a part of our…group. Our…boyfriend, as you might call it."

"B-boyfriend?" Cloud's brain felt as if it were short-circuiting. Four of the sexiest, most powerful men in SOLDIER, were apparently dating each other…and asking for Cloud to do so as well.

"Indeed."

"But why me?"

Zack, for some reason, took that moment to lick Cloud's ear, causing the blond to yelp.

"'Cause, Spike. You're cute and we all want to get to know yah better. Including, to get one of us, you get all of us. We're a package deal. Hope you don't mind." Zack told him with a chuckle.

"How do you know I even like guys?" Cloud challenged, finding enough courage somewhere deep inside himself.

Zack shrugged,"After I saw you checking Sephy out in the hallway a few months back, I put two and two together. But yeah…what do yah say?"

Cloud, overwhelmed by the attention he was receiving, looked at the faces of the SOLDIER trio. They each wore a…hopeful expression. After his terrible first impressions, how could they possibly want him? Honestly, he was always tripping over something, not at all a grade-A SOLDIER type like they were.

But was he willing to give up this opportunity?

Teenage hormones declared nay.

"I say…I say yes…Yes I'll be your boyfriend…to all of you."

When Zack squeezed him again, Cloud wondered what exactly he had gotten himself into.


End file.
